I today super duper fan and pek cek. I think I am the most fannest person living on earth now.
I have so many things to fan...
1) I can't act. Damn it. I just feel so pissed off when I watch myself. What the hell is wrong with me??? I never felt like this when I did Liyuanxi but I always feel angry with myself when I see my gzx. My teachers from China all told me that I have a flair in opera and got potential but I just suck at GZX. Maybe I wasn't supposed to learn Taiwanese opera, I should learn china opera cuz my flair wasn't there. I just keep getting screwed up. I screwed up my own show even when I put in lots of time, effort and whatever nought. *putain*
2) I can't sing. I can't sing gzx properly also. Something is seriously wrong with me lor. My liyuanxi singing is fine you know but when I sing GZX tunes, I go haywire and kok up. When I listen to my gzx, I felt that I sang like a duck but when I listen to my liyuanxi, I felt its still passable. At least the basic things are there like singing in the right key, singing in the right tempo etc, just that my voice is not strong enuf. But I when I sing gzx, everything screw up. Off key, off tempo, whatever shit all happen. I so pissed with myself.
Maybe I am just not fated to do GZX. I dun have potential in it. I dun have flair in it. I dun have affinity with it. I just.. can't do GZX.
3) I am fat. I so damn sian about ppl telling me i am fat also. I know myself very well I know my weight very well. Dun have to remind me about fat. Wah lau.. fat fat FAT..God Dammit.
4) Pimples. Stubborn pimples. Here disappear there appear. Pek cek leh. Disappear liao still want to leave scars. PUTAIN
5) I have round face.. To hell with round face.
I dunno what I am doing on this earth when I cant act, cant sing, am fat, have pimples and have round face.
Feel like punching someone..