My Ambitions

You know that in primary schools teachers often make you write compositions and one of the hottest topic at that time was 'My Ambition'. I hate writing about my ambition simply because I have none! I will then come up with some common and popular ambitions like teacher or doctor to 'eng siu' the composition but seriously I never knew what I wanted to be when I grow up.

I am unlike my friends who have firm ambitions of wanting to be doctors, they tried but didn't get into medical courses but at least they know what they wanted and they tried for it.

So when I was in Secondary school, I started thinking of what I want to do when I graduate. However, there just isn't any jobs that interest me. All the things that I am interested in cannot provide me with an income.

Finally, I thought of 1 job that I wanted to do and told me father. I told him that I want to be an archeologist.

Mad right?

My father told me,"You cannot make it one. It's so hot and dusty and dirty, you will complain."

But then if it's something I like to do, I think I won't complain much. Just like opera, it was tough work but I didn't really complain much about the training. (Except for those unacceptable attitudes from the teachers and *ahem* directors)

I really gave some thoughts to be an archeologist but ultimately I gave up because Singapore don't provide such courses and there is nothing to dig in Singapore. If I want to be an archeologist, I will have to study overseas. I don't have money for that and I cannot leave home. Till now, I still think that I like this job. Imagine going places like Egypt, Peru, China, Mexico, exotic places, digging up precious artifacts and learning about the ancient cultures like Maya. So interesting right.

But for an average singaporean like me, I can forget it. Singaporeans only study subjects like business, accounts, IT etc.. so damn bloody boring.... Every Singaporean is a businessman, accountant or programmer.. BORING.

Then I came up with another ambition when I was about 15 years old. I told my father again that I want to an astronomer.

Lagi worse than archeologist, lagi hard to achieve.

I told my father I want to work in Nasa and study the planets around us. My father just told me,"go lor."

Then again, to be an astronomer, you need to study overseas because Singapore, being a business hub, don't provide courses like that. I still have interest to be an astronomer and I tried to find some astronomy courses in Singapore but I can't. This sucks lor.

Imagine looking through the telescope, taking a peek into the vast universe..... my god... so nice right.

People around me will be screaming in my ears,"UNREALISTIC LAH! YOU BETTER GO LEARN BUSINESS."

Sad.

So in the end, I didn't do anything I want to be. I ended up doing a normal office job and I didn't even strive THAT hard in my job. I did work hard lah but I never plan for future advancement. I just think that let nature takes its course because this was not I wanted to do. I do it because I need the money that's all. And I need the money to sustain the interest I have. I use my free time to learn about what I didn't get to be. Archeology and Astronomy.

People say I am ambitionless, say I never strive, never think of doing big business to become millionare bla bla bla...

Who doesn't want to be millionaire? Just that I am not interested in doing business and I don't think I ever will. I only want a normal job and sustain my normal life.

Then people will say,"Acheologist and astronomers can make millions meh? Can become millionaires meh?"

What the hell lor. Being an archeologist or astronomer doesn't make you millions but it's the satisfaction that you get from the job. The kind of excitement and satisfaction you can get when you discover something is what money can't buy.

Some people just don't get it lor.

Then people will rattle on about no money how to live, cannot buy condo or big cars.. etc. Only money can give them satisfaction. There are lots of people like this in this world who only get satisfaction from money and I don't say they are wrong. Everyone got their own aims and goals. They can do what they want but that is none of my business. (when I said this, someone said I was selfish)

Someone also told me that he is uninterested in anything that cannot make money. Sometimes I feel so tired to talk to such people. I can only talk about money issues with them like how bad the inflation is, who the high the oil prices are etc.

SIANNESS. ULTIMATE SIANNESS.

Fortunately, I still got friends who sort of understand me. They comprehend what I want and why I don't really do any investment and what sort of life I want.

I find it hard sometimes to write about what I want because it cannot be written. It's all in the mind, it's not material. And maybe that is why alot of people don't understand me.

What was your ambition? Any weird and out of the world ambition you ever had? Tell me leh.

PS: I just found out another piece of 'useless' information. The word 'platonic' came from Plato because he doesn't believe that love comes solely from physical attraction. Plato was a philospher from long ago (don't remember when).